I thank Allah for the pen,I thank Allah for the paper

Eid Mubarak and a lil thought.

2009-09-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, Eid Mubarak.
It's been such a long time.
Taqabal Allah minna wa minkum.

It's always been a case of sitting infront of the Egyptian/Saudi news channels waiting for the announcement of Eid to be made. The Saudis had the luck of the draw this time around and I sat there with my mum trying to understand with the limited Arabic I knew, I figured it was indeed Eid al Fitr the next day.

I'm sure you all know the feeling, the one I cannot describe where all your happiness seems to gel together as you realise your month of abstaining from things has come to an end and the reward and delights are ever-present. You know, that feeling which you are certain another billion are sharing with you. I wish I could continue but that is not the point I wish to draw your attention to.

I captured that moment and kept it in my mind for a while because it led me to imagine something greater. I imagined the delight the Ummah of Muhammad (pbuh) would feel as Allah entered them into Jannah. The similarities are rather striking. The Muslims striving throughout the month and inshAllah, their striving throughout life. The reward and joys of Eid and the infinitely greater delights that await us as we receive our treat in Jannah, God willing, if Allah chooses us to be among the successful. Imagine entering Jannah with Muhammad's Ummah as we enter into Eid with the Muslims of the present time.

It's a beautiful feeling and even with our limited understanding and knowledge of the Ghaib, I can still conclude that indeed what we feel as we enter Eid every year can only be an infinitely minute snapshot of what it'd be like entering Jannah if we have attained that reward.

Did you imagine?
Can you imagine?

Blessed is Allah, rabbil 3alamiin.

Ramadan Kareem

2009-08-21T16:40:00.001-07:00

2009-06-13T14:57:00.000-07:00

So I made it through the other side...

...all praise and thanks be to Allah for

(1) getting rummage through her exams

(2) peppering the Earth with knowledge for the taking.

wasalamu alaykum

A simple request

2009-05-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

The heart requested of its fellow guide, the eyes.....

By Allah,
you have been granted
a huge trust

So forgive me
For the request
I ask of you

My guide
My guardian
My deliverer

At times,
I must humble myself
For I am under your influence

Be gentle with me
For I am weak
And I carry a heavy burden

Lighten my load
By following the advice
From the Lord, Most High

Lower your gaze
For the resulting arrows
Penetrate me so frequently

And I cannot bear
A burden greater
Than has been granted me

I am forever occupied
with the affairs
of one's emotions

So do not add to that
The weary load
Of wishful fantasy

I am under His control
By Him, I beat
Through him, I sustain

So do not deny me
Space to worship Him
Devotion to thank Him

By occupying me
With frivolous thought
And daydreams

Do not let that gaze
become a charriot
for desire

For, often a times
I have experienced
the anguish of love

Rather, let me occupy myself
with the love of Him
He, who created you and I

Yes, I am vast
and this vessel can contain
a sea of emotions

But I am overworked
And wish to feel
tranquil again

For that, I humbly ask you
To guard that which you fall upon
And curb the effect it has on me

Dear eyes
Dear windows
Work with me

Towards righteousness
Towards calm
Towards devotion

So that we may attain nearness
To our Lord, Most High
Creator of both you and I

Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.

And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, O believers! so that you may be successful.

-Holy Quan , 24:30-31

Just like the winds send rain.

2009-04-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

- ease shall follow today's hardship.

So verily, with the hardship, there is relief, Verily, with the hardship, there is relief.

- 94:5-6

Allah, al Rahman

2009-04-21T12:08:00.000-07:00

When Allah decreed the Creation He pledged Himself by writing in His book which is laid down with Him: My mercy prevails over my wrath.
-Muslim

O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.
- At-Tirmidhi

Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.
Surat Yusuf:87

He said: "My Lord! Verily, I have wronged myself, so forgive me."
Then He forgave him.
Verily, He is the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.
-Surat Al Qasas :16

-he was Moses and the Forgiver was Allah, Al Ghafur. The verse was concerning Moses' supplication to Allah concerning the Copt he had killed earlier. And remember Aadam (alayhi salam) - our father , our first Prophet. Did he not commit a great sin that resulted in him being placed on Earth from Paradise?

Never despair of Allah's Mercy, His Infinite Mercy. Think for a moment, if it wasn't for His Mercy what state would we all be in. Remember , we're human, insaan, which is derived from the arabic word nasiya - to forget. My, what copious excuses we have simply for being humans, momentary excuses, that is.

Point is, try not to forget Allah's Mercy when asking for forgiveness. Remember the kindness he provides for those of us who are constantly heedless if His Mesage.Remember the Mercy He has granted us simply being able to ask for forgiveness.

wassalamu alaykum.

How Merciful must He be

2009-04-18T23:48:00.000-07:00

image source

It was a couple of moments after sundown. Maghrib had just had its footing and I remember looking outside at the sky and being met with an artist's palette I had never seen before. The colours were inimitable; it would take the most skilled of artists an eternity to capture the range, or even a fraction, of the multitude of tones and colours that met my eye.

Allah promised the believers a Paradise where beauty would be magnified at every turn. The fruit, honey, wine and milk that would, under His command, become more delectable to the one tasting it. I thought that reality was only reserved for Paradise when I said to myself that the sky that I was looking at had seemed more beautiful than the last time I had looked at it. I suppose the two things can’t be true both at the same time so I gathered that it was because I had become more receptive to its beauty and that my heart had softened a little.

And then the thoughts came...

How Merciful must He be to grant me the eyes to see this splendid display of colour
The same eyes that had sinned while looking at that made unlawful only yesterday.

How Merciful must He be to grant me these ears to hear the ever-soothing words of Al Quran
The same ears that had sinned while listening to that made unlawful only yesterday.

How Merciful must He be to soften my heart in awe of His creation
The same heart that had deviated to that made unlawful only yesterday.

Ultimately, the Quran puts it best:

And if you would count the graces of Allah, never could you be able to count them. Truly! Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

-Surat An Nahl: 18

Wassalamu alaykum.

05 - A Most worthy invitation.

2009-03-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

I want you to imagine an invitation handed to you. An invitation allowing you to request all that you want, in the heavens and on the earth. An invitation that takes place at a time where the heart and mind are known to be more sound, at night. An invitation allowing you to get close to the one who invited you, through prostration. An invitation for His Infinite Mercy and Forgiveness. There's no need of a RSVP. The invitation is open until you take your last breath during every night. You can come alone and if you really want , share this special moment with your beloved companion.In the still of the night, when all is quiet and silence has time to spare you,mercifully, take advantage and bow your head in prayer. Perform tahajjud prayers so that you may attain a nearness to Allah, Most High.I know its difficult, but let's at least give it a go. An hour or so before Fajr should be fine. I repeat, how can we miss out on an open invitation from our Rabb calling us to ask for forgiveness. I'll stop there, but take heed of the words of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

"When one third of the night remains our Rabb, Most High, Most Exalted, descends to the first sky and announces, "Who is there to beseech Me that I may answer his prayer and who is there to seek forgiveness that I may forgive him. Then He spreads out His hands (of kindness and mercy) and proclaims, "Who will grant a loan to the One who is neither a destitute or an oppressor." (Muslim)

And from the glorious Quran,

Surely rising by night is very heavy in treading the soul and very effective in speech

- 73:6

04 - Good times with good people and laughter.

2009-03-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

'Give your heart a break for some time otherwise it will suffer a breakdown out of excessive strain.'

-Ali ibn Abu Talib

(may Allah be pleased with him)

I'm smiling now thinking about my afternoon spent with three lovely people. There was food , there were milkshakes and there was plenty of laughing. The strange thing is that I can't remember the last time I laughed like that. You know the type, the one that comes from a depth of your heart you never knew existed. The type you can't stop no matter the circumstance or the people around you. Laughter than eventually ends but you still remember the joys it brought you. Twas good, clean, innocent laughter with friends and it still makes me smile. Imagine a life without laughter, without joyous merriment with those you love and care about. Let's not imagine that for it would be a life without sunshine, you know , the sunshine that laughter brings as it tries its best to cleanse your heart of any sadness it may harbour for that moment of time.

Praise be to Allah, for providing us with this mean to lighten our hearts, momentarily.

wassalamu alaykum.

03 -"There is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator."

2009-03-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

We've heard it many a times, the above famous hadith from our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. Consider the following example, a personal experience at that. My paternal cousin is to get married soon and I am expected to attend the wedding. I need not delve into the details nor explain how this goes against the conditions and laws set by Allah. However, I shall speak a little of the great amount of resistance I have faced from my family concerning my refusal to attend such a gathering (you know, the dress code, the music, the free-mixing). How do you tell those who obviously know it is wrong that you wish not attend? Simple - I am not going. The difficulty comes from feeling isolated and as if you have done the wrong. It may be the whispers of the Shaytaan deterring me from what is right. It's the whole ' you are going to upset your uncle', 'people will think you're being stand-offish', 'since when did you turn all religious'. I wish I was brave enough to reply, 'does it not bother you that I shall upset Allah over my uncle'. It's so sad as people worry so much over everyone's right and forget the right of Allah over us that we worship Him and obey Him. It's done , though, and I shall not attend the wedding, alhamdullilah. The lesson I would like to share follows. At the beginning of this whole issue, I'll be honest, I gave in and told myself I would attend although I'd hate it in my heart. I remember seeking help from Allah and asking Him to aid me if it was right. In fact, I cried. Although, I may have cried over something else, I've been doing a lot of that lately. Point is, when one is sincere about seeking a means to Allah, wallahi, He will meet you greater than half way. Our Rabb will respond, just put your trust in Him. I've often heard that but never experienced it as I have over this situation.Praise be to Allah, then.

Lesson learnt : Try your best and rely on Allah, the results will amaze you.
Wassalamu alykum

02 - They say miracles happen there.

2009-03-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

I spoke to a friend I know today. She was feeling really upset and , alhamdullilah, I was there to lend a helping hand. But, something my friend said to me really got to me and the words are still in my head. She spoke of how her relative had got ill and had visited their homeland ( no, not Makkah or Madina). That's not the point. What got to me was when she told me that she would soon visit a 'holy place' that is known to have had miracles appear therein and that her relative may possibly be cured. OK, I thought. My friend was distraught so I thought better than to inquire further as to this supposed holy place. It got me thinking about the state of the Prophet's Ummah and Allah's submitted servants, though. Where have we gone so wrong? What happened to seeking Allah's help through ruqyah (healing via verses of the Quran and authentic supplications) and having tawakkul in Him. This particular person may well have tried both - I don't know. But, I felt uneasy about the 'holy place' of healing she spoke of. Its things like this that make me very uneasy and sadden me concerning the state of Muslims today. We do not advocate the Quran and Sunnah for no reason. Nor do we shun innovation for the sake of it. May Allah protect us all and keep us on His straight Path. And ( I advice myself first) , we should all strive to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, as Allah repeatedly reminds us in His revelation. I guess its finding the courage in what seems to be a tricky situation as described above.

wassalamu alaykum.

01 - Saying goodbye

2009-03-22T04:47:00.000-07:00

It was a year ago I held my head in prostration and asked Allah that He grant me a friend of a beautiful nature. I had asked that He grant me a friend that would help me in the road to seeking His pleasure. And my, He did and He did so in the best of manners. If I choose to speak of the qualities this friend has been endowed with it would defeat my Project:Paragraph theme so I shan't and that's testament enough, I suppose. I cried last night in a way I can't remember doing so for quite some time. The thought of parting from my friend (this coming Friday) sends tremors through my heart. I can't describe it any other way. And then, I thought. If an individual who I've known for only a few months has had this effect on me, I wonder what the companions around the Prophet were going through at his death. I mean my friend is only going away. You see, my friend is the way she is because Allah has endowed her with such great qualities. She has nurtured them through Islaam and used the path the Prophet had provided her , from Allah's permission. Imagine then , I said, how people would have reacted to the parting of the Prophet, peace be upon him. I did start to imagine but I couldn't imagine any longer because if the temporary parting of this friend sends tremors through my heart , the parting of the Prophet, must have cataclysmically broken their hearts, into a million and one pieces.

wassalamu alaykum

Project: Paragraph

2009-03-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

It's all in the title, really.
Start date: 22/03/09, inshallah.

wassalam.

A worthy series.

2009-03-17T02:01:00.000-07:00

oh, it reminds me of my days in Egypt.
Go on, try it . You'll love it it.

http://knowledgetravels.wordpress.com/

Don't despair.

2009-03-17T01:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, Ok, rummage tells herself. The bar was set too high the moment you suggested a hiatus. I suppose its testament to how I rely on the pen and paper. Maybe.

This is about the time of year my imaan goes through a good ol’ trial – a thorough whipping. It’s this time of year, I get the doubts as to where my future lies. Heck, they’ve gone beyond doubts, entered uncertainty and done a somersault over the term regret. And, that’s dangerous. It’s why I don’t like going there, I try my best to avert away from such thoughts but it gets too hard especially when it is all you hear , day in, day out.

Now, I have heard about the idea of being broken in front of Allah – admirable.That’s a trait preserved for the believers, the pious amongst the Prophet’s nation. May Allah grant them of His immense bounty.

Try ashamed. Utterly ashamed to ask for His help. How can I? , I question myself, without helping myself. It’s a stalemate in the thought process. In a normal situation nothing would hinder me seeking help from my Protector, the Source of Peace, the Forgiving and the Forbearing.

And then, one comes back to their senses and realises Allah is called At Tawwab (the Ever-Relenting). Wallahi, the jolt of joy one feels is inexplicable as soon as they realise that. Maybe the weather is helping, a lovely March morning; the dazzling sunshine manages to permeate every nook and cranny.

The problem is not the trial itself. No. It is the awful reality of it being self-inflicted and constantly repeating itself. It’s that which causes the annoyance, ridiculously large bouts of utter annoyance at oneself. Then all is calm as I remind myself that Allah has delivered me through this , on numerous occasions. When I thought it couldn’t get any worse, an avenue became available that I never expected.

Lesson learnt – probably not, yet. Will I continue trying – most certainly.

So, in trying to pass on what bit of advice I can, remember that Allah does not purposefully harm his servants nor would He subject them to hardships for which they could not handle , unnecessarily.
· Remember that no soul is subjected to more than it can bear, as Allah reminds us.
· Remember that Allah tests those who he loves.
· Shun the whispers of the accursed by seeking refuge in Allah.
· No amount of crying is going to get the job done, so start.
· Through hardship there is relief, as Allah, tells us.
· Don’t underestimate your capabilities for many of mankind are forever guilty of this condition.

And finally, a beautiful hadith that seems to put everything into perspective.

"A muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. " [Bukharee and Muslim]

Blessed be Allah, then. Lord of all Mankind. His Mercy encompasses all things.

Ma3assalam.

Off to....

2009-03-05T14:38:00.000-08:00

Except I shan't be sleeping.

Well, I'll try not to.

No, I shall befriend my books.

Caress the sweet facts that exist therin.

Yep, I am officially in hibernation.

Well, after tomorrow night actually.

Wassalamu alakyum.

And may Allah protect and have mercy on you all.

:):):)

Some Shafi'i (may Allah grant him peace)

2009-02-28T11:26:00.000-08:00

Here's a poem where Imam Shafi'i praises the rewards and hikmah behind travelling the land.

There is no peace of mind for the one with intellect and sophistication in remaining stationary - so leave homelands and and go to foreign fields,

Travel! You will find a replacement for what you have left. Crash out! The sweetness of life is in crashing out,

I have seen that standing water stagnates, if it flows it nourishes, and if it doesn't run, it doesn't nourish,

If the lion doesn't leave his den he can't hunt, and if the arrow doesn't leave the bow it won't strike,

If the sun stood still in its course then people, Arab and non-Arab, would become bored,

Gold dust is as the earth thrown in its places, and oud is a type of firewood in its ground,

If one travels this, his ambition is honoured. If one travels this, he is honoured like gold.

A funny conversation

2009-02-25T11:00:00.000-08:00

So a close friend of my mum's was around here last night. She has known her since my mum's childhood growing up in Gabiley. It's been four decades. So ,she was here yesterday.

The conversation went like this *all in af-Somali, of course*

Friend: Have you heard so and so's child is getting married?

Mum: Ha , (yes) , alahmdullilah.
Allah ha hadayo (May Allah guide her, I think)

Friend: Reerki wa *so and so*

Mum: Ha, sidaas wan maqley ( Yeah I heard so)

Friend: Gormeh kuwaasna so gursadeyn (And when did they marry them)

*OK, my Somali is shameful, you can piece the pieces together.*

Mum: I know, I know.

Friend: These girls , these days, finding husbands left, right and centre.

Mum: *quiet*

Friend: mentions the clan again.

Mum:Hey, didn't we use to marry from them a time long go.

Friend: I suppose.

Mum: *quiet*

Me : holding back laughter. Aaah, Somalis.

I've abused myself.

2009-02-24T09:02:00.000-08:00

I’ve abused myself.
Intellectual abuse, it has been.
I’ve committed a great crime, self perpetuated.
I’ve robbed my mind of what it has been granted by the Most High.
I’ve starved my intellect.
I’m thirsty for knowledge.
I’m bereft of any thinking.
I’ve switched off.
I’ve lost focus.
My brain cells have become satiated with shallowness.
Laziness has permeated my mindset.
I’ve allowed procrastination to take control of the reins.
I’ve failed in my duties to my intellect.
I’ve stopped thinking.

Allah, subhanna wa ta3alaa, has created man thus:

He is the One who perfected everything He created, and started the creation of the human from clay. Then He continued his reproduction through a certain lowly liquid. He shaped him and blew into him from His spirit. And He gave you the hearing, the eyesight, and the brains; rarely are you thankful. (32:7-9)

Indeed, man is an honourable creature. The creature with higher intellect. Heck, there’s 1.3kgs of grey mass up there burrowing in our skull. And what have I done, I’m destroying it, destroying myself of any chance to enhance and nurture this gift from Allah. Wallahi, I’ve abused myself and neglected the blessing granted to us all by Allah.

Ya Rab, allow me to make use of the blessing granted by You, in order that I may use it to please You.
Ameen.

ma3assalam.

Kids do it so well.

2009-02-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

When the world becomes seems too much to handle, its a breath of fresh air seeing how kids treat it. They do it so well.

wassalam

On adorning a friend.

2009-02-16T23:19:00.000-08:00

The Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon, said,

‘“Three things follow a dead person: Members of family, his property and his deed. Two of them return; and one remains with him. The people and his wealth return; his deeds remain with him (Bukhari)’

(1) Insure our good deeds

‘Actions are but by intentions’ (Bukhari and Muslim)

Precede a good deed with sincere intention. Make sure you are not carrying it out in vain and try your best to shun riyaa (showing off) by renewing your intention(s).

(2) Stopping others getting at them

"Do you know who is the bankrupt?", the Prophet asked.

"A bankrupt is the one who has neither dirham (money) nor wealth", his Companions replied.

The bankrupt of my Ummah is he who would come on the Day of Judgment with prayers, fasting, and zakah; but who had offended one person, slandered another, devoured others' wealth, shed the blood of this person, and beat that person... so his good deeds would be credited to the account of those (who suffered at his hand). If his good deeds fall short to clear the account, their sins would be entered in his account and he would be thrown in the (Hell) Fire." (Muslim)

Do no wrong to others. Don’t give them a chance to take away what you’ve worked for in the dunya. Rectify your affairs with people and always allow being just to overcome your desires. The good deeds you’ve performed, they’re yours, why would you allow others an opportunity to get at them? And if that means nothing, well, try to remember that the Day will be clouded in Justice and everyone will get their due.

Let’s build great towering fortresses around our good deeds. Here, in dunya, we do so well in regards to protecting what’s dear. It can only follow, then, to apply at least the same amount of effort for guarding our deeds which benefit us both here and in the akhirah.

wassalam

a never-ending pleasure.

2009-02-16T15:05:00.000-08:00

We’d been speaking for only a few minutes but in that time, I can’t remember feeling more emotions than one can bear in a particular snippet of time. She introduced herself, as did I, and she told me of her story.

You see, this young lady was a revert to Islam. I’d heard so many stories of reverted brothers and sisters, individuals who Allah, Most High, had guided back to the natural path He had created them to follow. The important point above being that I’d heard of so many stories. I’d never actually witnessed, never actually touched. I remember thinking to myself, Ya Rab, what a lovely pleasure it would be to share an experience with a revert. It was a passing thought. A passing thought that would one day become a reality by the Will of Allah. And it did, on that particular day.

I spoke to her for only a little while and I remember the first emotion I felt. I wanted to cry actually. Poor girl, she probably thought ‘what had I done wrong’. Little did she know it would be the first of the wealth of thoughts and feelings that would probably become more evident to her as she grew to know me. Oh Allah, I remember thinking, thank you for blessing me with this pleasure. Thank you for allowing me to witness the light of enthusiasm that poured forth from this sister. Oh Allah, I remember thinking, thank you for adding yet another beautiful memory to my bank of memories.

This is the one that may be the hardest to explain. Jealously closely followed. Bear with me as I try to put forth what exactly was going on in my head. You see, however practising one is, we didn’t leave our mothers’ womb a pious being. That, we can all agree on. By the Will of Allah, we all came to the path we are on now in our own way and in our own time. Add to that, through different experiences and trials, and you’ve got an almost infinite web of paths us Muslims followed to get where we are now. Don’t get me wrong, ya3ni, we all have a long we to go and there’s always room for improvement. But, I mentioned the point above simply to allow you to go back to the moment where you starting taking Islaam seriously. Hold on to that thought for a minute and remember the explosion of pleasure that followed that sweet moment(s) and maybe you can begin to understand why jealousy decided to manifest itself, even for a brief moment on that day. I must have inwardly desired to experience that same experience I know this individual would probably go through now.

I hope I have made my point clear, and if not, I’ll give it one more go. You remember the books, the lectures, the circles, the audios, the videos, the hadiths, the ayats, the recitors, the classes, and last but certainly not the least, the people. I could go on but I may have exhausted the point. All the above that comes together to give that memory of ‘taking Islaam seriously’ a sweet after taste. Now, you see why I may have felt a tad bit jealous, if only for a moment. Yes, for a moment. It was for a moment for straight after that, I had another thought.

I wanted to slap myself for being so silly. Surely, by being jealous of the experience that awaited this individual I was (falsely) implying that it was a single process. One burst of excitement. One chance of feeling pleasure. And we can all testify to the exact opposite. Well, I can anyways. Why? Because I can say, with firm conviction, that all the above still serves to move me, to excite me, to make me wanting more. It hasn’t stagnated, it hasn’t dimmed and it hasn’t stopped me wanting more.

The answer is simple really. Yes, everything needs a starting point and so does this type of pleasure that comes from learning about Islaam and acting according to it. BUT, if we want it to happen, this pleasure will not ever die simply because it rides on the waves of knowledge, which is infinite according to what our brains can cope with. And it’s a sample of the pleasure that awaits us in the afterlife if we are successful. Tabbarak Allah, then, for making me realise this.

Ma3assalam.

:)

2009-02-02T03:16:00.000-08:00

I'm dreaming of a white.....February.
No university lectures and a lovely mug of tea without sugar. Perfect.
Doesn't the Lord work in seemingly strange ways to us limited beings.
wassalam

The tear

2009-01-24T02:39:00.000-08:00

What does one do when their soul is overwhelmed with elation, with happiness? I am going to be crude and apply the physical answer to this problem. It overflows of course; it seems the vessel is not spacious enough to hold the elation with which it starting filling up with. Add to that the fact that there was no warning as to when exactly the vessel, the ruuh , would start brimming, would start overflowing. I don’t know about you but the only way I know how to deal with such a situation is by releasing that excess through tears.

You’ve guessed it, when rummage is overwhelmed with happiness, she starts tearing like any other human being. The tears are there to act as an aid, a plan B, to use the expression. As mighty fortresses, they await the onslaught of emotion that shall arrive from the soul, the heart.

Do they complain?
Do they lessen?
Do they give up on you?
Do they discriminate between ‘big’ and ‘small’ worries?
Do they go unnoticed?

Well, in my humble opinion, they do not. Forget happiness, they’re blind to emotion also. No distinction between happiness, anger, depression or worry. One can’t quantify or pinpoint their response points. Tears, they’re over-arching, they are.

They’re that wonderful companion, the soft mattress, the bed of feathers that catch your emotions when they do a free-fall from your heart. They’re a door, ajar, a door to release the excess traffic that arrives from the ruuh, the excess that cannot be processed by logic.
So next time you feel overwhelmed, excited, angry, depressed (although not encouraged by Islaam) remember that channel Allah has granted all of us, the indiscriminate one, remember the tear.

wassalamu alaykum

Who's controlling the reins?

2009-01-18T11:38:00.000-08:00

I lay in bed and succumbed. I succumbed to the human being I am and let my heart control the reins for a while. My head has had it for far too long. Although brisk and stern, when it is control, I feel rather left out of the equation. I feel desensitised. That’s why I had to succumb that night, succumb to the human being I am and let it all out.

I can’t remember the last time I cried so hard over what I still cannot point a finger at. I cannot remember the time I consciously felt to call in reserves of tears for I felt they would lessen after every drop. I cannot remember the last time I felt as less of a human as I did that night. It was dark and the darkness matched what my heart felt that day.

It was to my only Friend I called upon. It was to my Protector I sought help from. It was to the All-Hearing I complained to. It was to the Generous I asked of. It was the Loving I sought comfort in. It was to the Forbearing I repented to. It was to the Just I asked my rights of. It was to the Acceptor of prayers I supplicated to.

That night, it was me that I had become. In between taking turns in controlling the reins, I leaned to my heart controlling them for what had seemed an eternity. It was during that moment, I felt a strange sense of calm in all that despair. A paradox, possibly. A reality, it sure felt like. The heart, when listened to, takes you to places your head doesn’t imagine entering for the woes that surround it. But, the heart, it is that silent warrior, the warrior fearless to enter where needed, if it summoned by the caller, you.

Confusion. An awful state to be in, confusion is. Forget taking control, both the head and the heart have lost grip of the reins. Neither of them wants to return to the state of clarity that existed before. Both head and heart have deserted you and left you to fend for yourself. Now , do you see why I wept that night for what seemed eternity. It was confusion , I felt. Complete and utter confusion. I was waiting for control to return. I wanted the heart to take control but I couldn’t care less as long as I wasn’t exposed to that awful state I wouldn’t wish on my enemy.

Finally, it came. And , you can guess who came to save the day. I suppose it is testament to what human nature is more inclined to for it was the heart that saved the day ( or night). It was the heart that realised its duty after momentary neglect. It was the heart that realised that sometimes, the head needed a break. It was the heart that realised that , at times, the person needed a break from being controlled by that steely soldier. My heart realised its duties to me and restored what was needed, hope.

So, that night, in between weeps and calls to my Lord, I felt something strange happening. It was the ever-increasing force of a warrior that was on its path to protect what was human with all the softness of a companion relieving their dearest of harm. That night, it was my heart that came to the rescue.

Salamu alaykum.

My brain misses you.

2009-01-10T13:29:00.000-08:00

The books.
The writing.
The notes.
The lectures.
The concentration.
The motivation.
The quest for learning, basically.

I miss it like a dear friend.Time has snatched it away from me, procrastination has flirted with it.
And now, rummage awaits inspiration.
waiting......waiting.

Don't do it. Well, try not to.

2009-01-07T15:07:00.000-08:00

What feels worse than someone else questioning your intentions? I repeat, what feels worse, not what is worse. For, as a Muslim, one must constantly review their intentions, keeping it clean and purely for the sake of Allah.

What feels worse, is when you question your intention, all of a sudden. You carry out an action, thinking it is for the sake of Allah and then something happens and your brain goes into overdrive. You self-question. Why am I doing this, again? Has my intention changed from the start? Is this action void if my intention has not been the same throughout the performance of the act? Heck, did I even start as I mean to go on?

You see, it’s this question that is asked and that makes one doubt themselves. I’ve been told it’s from the accursed Shaytaan, to put doubts into hearts of men. But, I’ll inform you of something that doesn’t help matters. That is being ‘praised’ about your actions, in an excessive manner.
When I use the term excessive, I do realise that it is relative to everyone. But, one can only address the experiences they have faced. The reason I do not like to get praise isn’t the admirable reason someone thinks of immediately, that one where the person does not want to be exposed to something that may increase hypocrisy and the like. Allahu a3lam.

It’s the other reason. It’s the one where the mention of praise opens up the questioning from the one being praised. It’s where the question of intentions arises. Why have I done this? Why are they praising the doer of the action? I wish they’d stop because as soon as they do I’ll stop questioning myself and I can get back to completing the action.

But then calm and rationality overcomes the worrier and they understand that the one giving praise doesn’t mean any harm. It may cause the one who is carrying out the action to doubt themselves (momentarily) but , hey, it is not done in spite. I understand that giving praise may encourage someone to do even better (in deeds) but there’s that aspect where it may also cause someone to question their intention. And, can you see how it gets worse
if the praise comes from the same individual.

So that is when it becomes all fine again. It’s when the person reminds themselves that it is for the sake of Allah only. And this is the strange part, the beautiful lesson, the beautiful outcome. All this does have a beneficial gain, it (should) cause someone to renew and strengthen their intention.

Hey, it all works out in the end even with all the headaches and heartaches. Best avoided though, I believe.

Wassalam.

I miss you.

2009-01-03T13:33:00.000-08:00

Cairo, I do.

I miss sleeping after Fajr, every day I was out there.

I miss sleeping after noticing the first light.

I miss waking up at ridiculous times in the afternoon with no care at all.

I miss my family out there.

I miss my nephew who might as well have been my younger brother.

I miss the balcony I looked over again and again.

I miss the plant who's abode was the balcony.

I miss the lovely neighbours, although not their dog.

I miss the only time of day that the weather was bearable, 8am.

I miss the warm people of Cairo.

I miss taxi rides in those infamous cars.

I miss the bank notes I had to exchange everyday.

I miss the rows of headscarves on sale in the market.

I miss the mangoes, God, I miss the mangoes.
I miss the grapes, the figs and the awfully brown drink I realised was tamarind.

I miss the shopping.

I miss the malls.

I miss the drivers.

I miss the waiters.

I miss the kofte.

I miss the grilled chicken from that particularly warm gentleman from around the corner.

I miss the da3mia.

Hey, I even miss the foul.

Cairo, I miss you.

I miss you very much.
2009, inshallah. I'm counting down the months.

Here are some pictures , some nostalgia! Trust me, they make me feel a little bit better everytime I look at them. Excuse the lack of photographic skill.

-the last picture illustrates the sleeping after Fajr thing, although not very articulately.

Salam alaykum.

So, I teach.....

2009-01-03T10:32:00.000-08:00

.....a bunch of Year 6 kids in fact (aged 10 and 11). I teach them English and Maths. Nothing unusual about that....hey, it pays.

Do I look forward to every session with the kids in ample anticipation? No.
Do I miss the kids during holiday season? No.
Have I bonded with the kids in a manner most befitting of the teacher - pupil relationship? Can't say I have, to be honest.
Does that make me a bad person? I hope not.

Do I try my best in providing them with as much help as I can? Yep.
Do I sense a tad bit of happiness that I am making a small difference? Definitely.

I have realized one thing from my experiences. That I do not possess the qualities needed to be that teacher that one always thinks of in an admirable manner. I’m painting myself out to be a monster, God forbid. In fact, I remember leaving due to exams and being asked to return because the kids had asked their parents if I could come back. You could imagine the surprise I felt.
“How in the world would they want me back?” I repeatedly asked myself.

Let me continue with an experience that will most definitely stay etched in my mind for quite a while. There I was teaching the little ones some numeracy. How tedious, I kept repeating to myself, as I showed them how to carry out a long multiplication for the umpteenth time. Alhamdulillah, they understood it so I moved on, to literacy.

It was a comprehension this time. Great, rummage thought. That should keep them busy for a little while as I completed some administration work I had to get done. The noise level crept up, I felt it. It crept in a way I never realized during my years as a school kid. It happens, I said to myself.

What to do?
Let’s read to them. What an original idea! I sarcastically thought, Lets read them the comprehension, rummage suggested, to her delight.
So I started reading. In fact, I got into the story myself. It was about a Norwegian explorer who had been the first to make it to the South Pole, Antarctica.
As I read, I held myself back for a while. The classroom had gone silent all of a sudden. Very silent. The kids were actually silent. Mashallah, I thought.

I continued as the tale got interesting, telling the reader about how the Norwegian explorer had beaten the British explorer to getting to the Antarctic by taking a different route.

You could see how excited I was getting. Forget rummage, I want to draw your attention to the kids. The kids who were relatively restless not so long ago had now been as silent as silent can be. The enthusiasm was seeping through their gasps and their constant willing me on to finish the story. When I had finished, they looked quite sad. No exaggeration. They were actually upset I had finished reading. To be honest, I was a bit upset.

OK, children, I said. I asked them to complete their questions and they had done so with a readiness I had never seen in them. They were huddled around their answers in fear of others seeing them. They double checked (and even triple checked) their answers with me, as if only gold dust could be spilled on those test papers.

It was time to go after a while; I said my salaams to the little kids and asked them to complete any unfinished work.
I smiled. I kept smiling for a long time, from what I can remember. I wanted to cry actually but there were people in the other room. No, no, rummage is not good with showing emotion around others.

I did get home and spill a few tears of happiness in the solitary confines of my bedroom, though. There, I patted myself on my back. Good work. Maybe I’m not so bad. I’m my own worst critic and always will be. Those kids only needed a chance, something so simple brightened their afternoon and urged them to do well, to excel.

The kids had done their work and rummage had done hers. All was well, alhamdulillah.

I remember my favourite teacher throughout all time. She was my History teacher and she made it come alive. Looking back at her, I know that I’ll never ever reach that level, you either have it or you don’t. I just don’t possess the many admirable qualities a decent teacher should. Patience is like a see-saw with me.

Rummage prefers being a learner, which is her abode. Comfort is what she feels as she learns for all eternity. Save the teaching for those who are cut out for it, she says. And my, what rewards does teaching bring to the one who does it. I know, I felt it that day, it made me cry, remember.

Salam alaykum.

01.01.09

2009-01-01T12:51:00.000-08:00

Nothing mathematical about the date above. Its the first of the new Gregorian calender. We Muslims had our New Year a few days back but I was under a duvet trying to fight off influenza.
Praise be to Allah that I am fine now.

I don't do resolutions , maybe I should.
In fact, if the last year has taught me one thing is that I don't take enough time to analyse what's been before. I don't take myself into account. I foolishly lived life expecting it to throw whatever it would at me. I don't remember sitting down and thinking things through.

Why? Because it hurts too much. Biologically, emotionally, whatever. Thinking just isn't for me at most times.I've given up on thinking. Maybe thats why I'm so behind on academic work.*there's still time, she says*.

So, by God's will, I shall aim to review my life now and again, fix the things that need be fixed. Talk to the people that I feel like talking to.

That's another thing, talking to the people I want to talk to. It's OK, rummage tells herself, that you don't feel comfortable around many people. It's OK that only a select few people know the real you, rummage also tells herself. It's fine that you often feel that you can be yourself around those that matter, family, the real friends. Alhamdullilah, I am beginning to enjoy my company a bit more than usual. It's fine, one should tell themselves , constantly.

Alas! But one's never alone when they have chosen to submit to the will of Allah. I've realised I'm not alone. I never am. When it all gets too much and I can't find that particular person to empty myself out to, it's fine. I have Allah and I am beginning to learn that that is enough for me. He hears my fears, my desires, my despairs, my wants, my complaints. I'm not expected to take care of everything, it has already been decreed by a Lord, most Loving and that feeling brings sakinah to my heart everytime it passes my thoughts.

This bit always amuses me, I've just remembered I haven't thought of travelling for quite a while. Forget science, travelling is my companion and I have not been entertaining thoughts of the lists of places I want to go when I'm older. It's quite amusing when thoughts run away with you in such a manner. I look at the notice board with images of my favourite destinations and know that I'll probably have dreams of such places tonight.

So, let's see what this new year holds. Muharram, that is.

Salam alaykum.

Gaza

2008-12-29T05:32:00.000-08:00

Our prayers are with you.

May Allah relieve your pain and suffering.

Feeling poorly.

2008-12-26T12:19:00.000-08:00

- this is how I feel.
Influenza hasn't spared me.
Please pray I get better, inshallah.

Can Islaam change the world?

2008-12-22T13:48:00.000-08:00

We Muslims have a way of asking the unnecessary questions that need no answer. Rather, we should be asking ourselves, has Islaam changed my world?

And the majority of the time, we have to ponder a little while before we reach a definite conclusion. The answer doesn’t spring from our hearts like it should, it doesn’t pour forth with the absolute conviction that it should. It’s sad and I think we can all agree on that.

We are human, therefore we will instinctively wish the best for the world and in our case, we’d love to give Islaam to the world. But, we need to review if we have actually granted ourselves Islaam. Maybe it’s a human thing to bite off more than one can chew and therefore we cannot be blamed for it or questioned about it. Still, that’s an explanation, a consolation and not, definitely, not an excuse.

Moving on, have we granted our parents Islaam, our spouses, our siblings, our beloved friends, our acquaintances, our workmates?

When is the last time we sat our little nephew or niece on our laps and taught them of the bunyal Islam (pillars of Islam)? Can we remember the time we advised our ‘erring’ cousins and siblings about the truth of following Al Islaam correctly with kind words and gentleness? Let’s talk of a little away from home. Can we honestly say we ardently carry Islaam in a positive light in the way we conduct ourselves in public? Do we show politeness to the elderly woman where nobody else does? Do we assist a fellow human being in the load they carry?

We are all aware that charity starts at home. Before we even entertain the thought of changing the world with Islaam , we should concentrate on changing the immediate world, that is our family, our home , our close circle of links. Our beloved Prophet (pbuh) with the grace of Allah spread Islaam the way he did by steps. It didn’t all happen at once. It started with his family. And who are we to get carried away with ourselves thinking we shall change the world in such a manner that does not befit logical thinking.

Saying that, never give up hope in that notion. Invoke Allah that he allows the light of Islaam to guide the world but at the same time let us all contribute to that worthy hope by doing our own little bit. Why? Because we may be accountable on a Great Day for not passing on the knowledge we have acquired. And , as if we didn't know, Islaam is worth it , :).

Salam alaykum.

Grant me a stimuli .......

2008-12-20T01:39:00.000-08:00

..........and I'll be forever grateful to you.
My brain, I think I have numbed it. Its dying in the sense I have found nothing to stimulate it. I'm afraid it will deteriorate into a mesh of nothing if I don't find the will to think again.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
You know, supplications, brain exercises, food items etc.

Jazzakalah khayr.
Salam alaykum.

That terrifying journey.

2008-12-15T01:01:00.000-08:00

Can I tell you of a journey I once took with a stranger? Their name need not be mentioned at this moment. This stranger was a terrifying character and I do not know what possessed me to keep with them for so long. This stranger told me many things for which I am thankful for. In between tears of fear and sighs of relief, I managed to remember what they told me that night I met them.

They said to be careful of the power and might of their wagon; the media.
Play a simple yet smart move; for false hope was their game.
Like a plant needs water to grow, it grew on whispers.
When patience was scarce, they would call on their trustworthy friend, lust.
They told me that the aims of men were far and many; but his sole aim was corruption.
Hearts, he longed, to blacken.
In times of weakness, Shaytaan was his master and he let him take over the reins.

The stranger had a photo in his hand; they stared at it and looked back at me with a grimace on their face. I was breaking in sweat, I could feel my heartbeat rising uncontrollably through my chest, I feared they could feel it to.

“To every coin , there are two sides”, they said. ‘But we are far apart, worlds apart relative to the mere distance that separates head from tail.’

They paused.

‘Need I be brave and dare I say we are infinitely apart, however hard I try to imitate it. Successful, I shan’t be but I’ll exist through trying, I get enough pleasure from it’ .He started, ‘This real thing….

Race, colour and creed it transcends.
True happiness and felicity it cultivates.
The heart is its vessel with no walls except the limit of its giver.
With me, I operate in the confines of one’s head, access is never granted to the heart for it welcomes the real thing and repulses at me every time I try to infiltrate it.
It’s an attribute of the Most High, now there is something I cannot compete with.
However successful I am, the grave I can never live in.
It unites enemies, how can I compare?
Its media are fluid and far, through marriage, motherhood and the like.
Effortlessly, it allows a mother to forget the pangs of labour while she stares into her child’s eyes.
I use whispers to grow, it grows through nurture.
My furrow is not tangible, never permanent. However, it enjoys an eternal home in the crevasses and furrows it creates in the hearts of men.

‘It would be foolish to deny its power, its grasp but remember this’ the stranger said, ‘How many hearts have I corrupted in my attempt to imitate it?’ .
My legs were shaking now, there was nowhere to run.
He continued, ‘Tell them of me, tell them of the illusion of False Love and tell them of my quest to climb the first rung of the greatness of True Love’.

That bright ball in the nightsky

2008-12-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

As I sat at a bus shelter on a cold Tuesday evening, after coming from work, I stared at the gleaming moon and wondered. I wondered what would happen if the moon suddenly defied His leave and plummeted to the eternally dark abyss we know as space/time. It’d mean no more gazing at the moon as I spent lonely nights pondering about life, no more sightings of the moon marking the beginning of a new universal month. No more English granddads telling their grandchildren of the man on the moon and certainly no more kids jesting at the idea of the moon being made of cheese. I would not be able to wish upon the moon in guilty escapism. No more telling people that the gravitational pull of the Moon is 1/6 of that of the Earth’s.

These thoughts then turned to imagining the non-existence of the Earth itself and everything else I take for granted. I giggled to the dismay of the man sitting next to me. I was opposite a car rental shop that was surrounded by guarding gates. I foolishly imagined what would happen if the Earth itself decided to plummet and wondered if it was physically possible to grab onto the gates. Was it possible to defy the laws of the gravitational fields and be removed from the Earth’s tumultuous pull? My mind then did a somersault as the plethora of ideas and fantasies running through my mind themselves plummeted into the hazy ground that was my conscious.

*take a look outside and silently marvel at that bright ball in the sky*

*smile now :)*

Salamu alaykum

On death...

2008-12-09T13:23:00.000-08:00

This evening I was reading people’s thoughts on the issue of death on a forum I am active on. The question - are you scared of death. The overall verdict - no. Then I asked myself the same question for the millionth time as I do when I get into those moods.

My answer was this - I am more scared of death than anything else in the world. Life experiences and the passing of close ones have taught me things and despair does come over me in moments of weakness. I remember being put under general anaesthetia for an operation I was to undergo, and begging my sister not to leave my side, although this was a few months ago. And to be totally honest, I cannot remember what was scaring me to that extent. Was it the possiblity of leaving my mum behind? I do not think it could have been because I have faith in the British system of anaesthesia and the like. No, it couldn’t have been that. If I am answering honestly , it was probably the thought of the unknown. I was entering something I didn’t know much about and it scared me silly.

Allah (swt) has promised every human being the taste of death, and I am no different. Yet the belief in that is set in stone, its just the acceptance of the aftermath that is rather troubling and worrying. I often think to myself that there is so much out there that I have no clue about, death being one of them. Islam brings me peace and sakinah and I am happy. What I am probably trying to say is that, the issue of death is going to take some maturity to understand and I must get to grips with it , as I do not know when it will approach.

And what did I learn .... to go and find out about what Islam says about death and Al Ghaib - the unseen. Surely, knowledge is a worthy companion to faith, for it may bring comfort to it in times of weakness.

Salam alaykum.

On being passionate ....

2008-12-09T13:13:00.000-08:00

I was reading something today to do with the blessings of Allah. It wasn’t so much a case of ‘hidden’ blessing, but of the blessings that are blatantly present that we have been blinded against.The example I read today was that concerning the love of different things Allah has placed into the hearts of the believer and non-believer. Hopefully, people will find something that they are passionate for in life, whether it be seeking islamic knowledge, art, writing, science, cooking, history e.t.c .

It went on further, saying it was this difference in passion that is one of the bases of human civilisation. And if you think about it , as I did, it is completely true. Personally, I wasn’t a fan of mathematics at school, but imagine life without the thrill that maths may bring to a lover of all things numerical. I’m not that fond of languages either,however, where would I get the ancient translated books that are so vital in my study of history. The examples can carry on forever, something you may not be so fond of will bring heaps of joy to someone else and this passion is vital. For, if there weren’t mathematicians in the world, engineering would be no more, actuarists would not be able to calculate insurance claims… you get the point. Things we take for granted are constantly of benefit to us, from the local milkman to the neurosurgeon that performs life-saving surgeries.

Basically, I underwent brain exercise today, I actually did some thinking which says a lot for my state of mind at this present moment in time. We ought to be truly thankful to Allah that we have desires and loves for a different variety of things because if we didn’t, life would be very two dimensional and dull. I hope that made sense because I want others to understand this very beautiful yet important blessing. On that note, I have not figured out what I have a passion for, *hmmm*.

My Eid day

2008-12-08T13:42:00.000-08:00

(1) A wonderful enriching Eid Salat at a mosque I've never been to in my life.
(2) A depressing 3 hour practical at university that one could not worm themselves out of.
(3) A meeting with a sweet sister as we were the only two who used the prayer room that day.
(4) Surprised to spot individuals who I never thought were Muslims turn up to university in a full set of thobes.Mashallah.
(5) 5 tube rides in the space of 45 minutes.
(6) And a hot mug of coffee to die for while chatting away to a dear friend.
(7) Slept on the train back home and had to be woken up by an old gentleman...the embarassment.

I couldn't have asked for anything more today. Apart from 39 hours of no sleep. The bed beckons me....

How was yours? is all I can manage to type.

Salam alaykum

Asbab al-Nuzul

2008-12-07T16:17:00.000-08:00

As a lover of all things historical , this is a branch of the Quranic sciences I have taken interest in lately. Allah help me increase in knowledge but a pretty interesting branch.
Must learn more, I tell myself.
Salam alaykum.

Eid mubarak.

2008-12-07T15:07:00.000-08:00

Oh, Allah, you're so great.
Oh Allah, thank you for a great Yawmil Arafat
Oh Allah, thank you for great friends
Oh Allah, thank you for arranging the prayer times for the mosque I shall attend tomorrow to be in line with university commitments.
Oh Allah, thank you for making me understand yet another verse of your Quran
Oh Allah, thank you for making me smile a million times these past 10 days
Oh Allah, thank you for making me increase in knowledge
Oh Allah, thank you for making me taste the sweetness of the first third of Dhul Hijjah

:).
I'm so happy.
Salam alaykum.

P.S Eid Mubarak . Smile.

I met a sister today...

2008-12-03T21:21:00.000-08:00

a revert, at that. I couldn't help but crying. Its their humility that does it , I think. I couldn't speak to hear in fear of welling up. I juct couldn't control myself. Oh Allah, guide the reverts to the straight path for they (by your Will) have taken the first few steps towards you.
Ameen.
Salam.

Essay to self.

2008-12-02T12:07:00.000-08:00

When did it happen to me? I always ask myself, internally searching for the point in my life where I found Allah as I know him now. I'm searching for the time in my life where God seized to be a reminder and a reminder at that. When Allah (swt) received my full devotion and attention. Where God stopped being thought of as only existing during madrasah and had disappeared out of my mind as I had left. I remember the times the Islamic rituals were just that - ritualistic practices that had no meaning to me at all. Where and when did Allah decide to guide me, a now thankful servant, out of relative darkness and into searing light (to use such a term).

I tell myself it was when I finally turned an adult and that I could excuse my neglect of Allah due to ignorance and infancy. But that didn’t suffice as I grew up and learnt of the many young devout companions of the prophet (pbuh) who practiced Islam with more fervor than ever imaginable. No, I tell myself. It couldn’t be because of that but I’ve stopped asking myself ‘why’ anymore, it wastes too much time thinking of the past but I am still able to reminisce about my journey to the Islam that I now know. The answer is simple – Allah (swt) chooses to guide whomsoever he wills and when He wills, it was that straightforward.

So, it happened. Worship had meaning now; the all important reality of sincere intention had found a furrow in my once bare heart. A language that would serve to move me where I was once stern. A dialect that would make me tear where I was once as emotionless as a stone. An understanding that would instill in me love where blind obedience once had a stronghold.
I began to see the world differently, at first I plainly accepted it. Then, I appreciated it that way. I saw potential in affliction, the wisdom behind tribulation and the growth behind conflict. It all added up – Allah is All Wise, after all. A delicate balance lay bare and Qadr (fate) was its pivot, its focal point.

I found myself smiling more than usual, my friends noticed too. Why ever not? I used to reply. I would relate a famous hadith Qudsi – the one that spoke of how close Allah came to the one who took a few steps towards him. How could I stop smiling, I ‘d found a jewel – Al Islam. I would now appreciate it, polish it and through time, perfect it. Alas, I’d finally stumbled upon a wonderful nurturing for my soul, all by the Will of Al Wadud, the Loving.

And now, I’ll admit it, it’s a struggle at times, as any Muslim would expect and my faith is constantly tested and seen to. But, I’ve learnt to accept that it is natural to feel this way. How can one expect to grow without being tested, to strengthen without suffering lost, to appreciate without working hard for something? Everything has reason now although I’m not sure about them all. However, it is adequate enough for me to know that I am not expected to be perfect, for Allah alone is free from imperfection.

I often ask other, how you came to the Islam that you now know.

Dhul Hijjah tomorrow.

2008-11-28T13:52:00.000-08:00

I'll keep this short. 1st of Dhul Hijjah tomorrow. I can't believe what I've discovered. Its like I get a second chance for what I may have missed out on during Ramadhan.

What can be done?

Praise the Lord. The right way should be Ok. That is with plenty of Takbeers.

“Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, La ilaha illa Allah, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar wa lillahil-Hamd.”

Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest, There is none worthy of worship except Allah. Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest and to Allah belongs all praises

Here's another chance to read Al Quran.
Go on, increase in your charity.
Fast. Allah loves fasting.

I promised it'd be short but I urge you to find out about the benefits and opportunities of the following ten days granted to us by Allah.

I'll start, Allah Akbar.

Wassalam.

How rich would I be?

2008-11-24T13:28:00.000-08:00

...for every time a slave of Allah bowed down in silent obedience. The worshipper's forehead laying still in complete submission.

Oh dear Muslim, for you are dear to me, when it all gets too much, find comfort in prayer. Just take some time, bow your head and let sincerity diffuse throughout your heart.

Its worked for me, dear Muslim. So many a times and the Prophet (pbuh) has instructed me that I am not a believer until I love for my brother what I love for myself.

It will not take much time or effort but the effects can last a lifetime. Submission is bliss. Submit to the Creator of the heavens and the Earth.

Call on your Lord humbly and secretly. He does not love those who overstep the limits. (Surat al- A'raf: 55)

He is the Living-there is no god but Him-so call on Him, making your religion sincerely His. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds. (Surah Ghafir: 65)

He invites us openly, our Lord does. What greater mercy is there in answering the call of the worshipper. Don't be the loser and reject this invitation.

Salam alaykum.

Sisterhood.

2008-11-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

I remember losing my phone once at university. I was, understandably quite confused. It was late, the family would be worried and there was no immediate form of contact with anyone. I left the busy lecture hall for a moment. I was hungry and I remember laughing about it. Maybe it was nervous laughter as is the case sometimes, with me.

I contemplated going home. I would have to go on the London Tube network then follow that with an overground train home. OK, it was quite a trek. I was attending an Islamic lecture. The irony at the idea of leaving before it had even finished was not very amusing considering I had stayed for quite a long time after my actual lectures had ended.

Let me return to the point of the story. There, as I admitted defeat and was walking to the station, I met a sister. She asked what was wrong and I told her of what happened. Her reply was

'Why are you so chilled with this'.

I laughed again.

'Come on', she said, ' let's go look for your phone'.

I was taken aback. I smiled and silently thanked Allah.

To cut a long story short, I found my phone with the thanks of five fellow sisters. We waited until the event had ended and everyone had left the lecture hall and searched all over for my phone. And my, I couldn't believe I found it.

Alhmadullilah.
It was one of those moments that I needed to experience for myself. I'd always heard of the 'sisterhood' , how it united the girls and such. I'd never believe I'd touch it, feel it like I did that night. They were so adamant not to let me go until we searched high and low. They walked me to the station and we said our salaams. I was overwhelmed at their simple kindness and generosity.
That was just one example. An active example. I live through the sisterhood most of my current life. It wasn't there before so I often wonder how I ever coped without it. It exists as a towering protection, a place of comfort and discovery.

What else would one expect from the sisterhood that reigns under the banner of Al Islaam?

Salam

Jumuah Mubarak.

2008-11-13T22:16:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks back, I posted this.

And now, I find myself beckoning on Fridays. I'm waiting for the novelty to wear off but I don't think it will. I awake on Fridays and realise I can attend the khutbah and it pleases me and lightens my heart. I can listen to the sweet melodious sound of the adhaan, just bliss!

source

Hard work does pay off!

2008-11-13T13:01:00.000-08:00

Concentration and determination......sounds like a theme tune!

Seriously, though, it does. I can't remember the last time I concentrated for more than five minutes. I saw the fruits of my labour, right there, staring back at me. It felt so good I would like to repeat it. Maybe, I can make a habit of it, inshallah.

salam

Got there in the end!

2008-11-12T15:10:00.000-08:00

perseverance + (Mahir Al Muaqly + Suhaib Webb)+ MP3/audio cd player + file converter = some time contemplating before bedtime. Thanking Allah I finally figured the thing out.

Mind, I'll probably sleep I'm so tired!

When he (pbuh) came to us.

2008-11-09T22:27:00.000-08:00

Abdullah Salam (ra) narrates he was one of the people present when Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) first came to Medinah. The Ansar all spread around the Prophet (pbuh), in eager anticipation.They came to see what the Prophet (pbuh) looked like.When he saw the face of the Prophet (pbuh), he knew this was not the face of a liar.

The first things the Prophet (pbuh) said to the Ansar were:

Spread salam (to those you know and the strangers)
Feed the hungry people in the community
Perform the night prayer when others are sleeping

..and you will enter Jannah in peace.

Our Prophet (pbuh) would command good and forbid evil...whenever he had the opportunity.

Notes from a lecture from Muhammad AlShareef.

There is hope.

2008-11-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

An interesting conversation with my brother ensues. How did it start, Allahu a3lam. How did it end, with a smile from me and an inner feeling of hope, true hope in my Muslim Ummah.

'Why are we so pathetic?, I asked, referring to the sorry state of the Muslims nowadays. What a stupid question, rummage.

My brother looked at me in the way he normally does when he realises I've asked a type of question I want a comprehensive answer to. He sighed, then smiled. He wouldn't give me a satisfactory answer, but he'd try.

Don't underestimate the Muslim ummah he said, for so many have in the past.It takes time,he said. Be happy things are not like they were in the 70s where Prophet Muhammad (phuh) would openly be mocked in the journals and newspapers, of Muslim countries!

Saladin did not achieve greatness without the work of his forefathers, he also argued. He was optimistic as he said that it would take the first generation to move for change before it can come. Do not think you will live to see the chance but rather be happy you are part of it. Each and every Muslim should be.

The hypocrites will mock us in secret even if they know it to be the truth. He spoke of the time an individual attempted to hurt the Prophet while in prostration but couldn't because of the sight that had scared him as he proceeded to do so. There it was, as clear as anything , but still in denial. This certain man knew the prophet to be trustworthy but would not accept his prophethood out of pride and arrogance.

So I thought for a while. I do not need to see the change, rather be happy I am one to initiate it, inshallah. Its a stream after all, as has been described, it won't run uniformally all the time. The most important lesson I took from my brother was that if we ever expect victory, then to Allah the alliance should be. This is because, the moment our hearts our alligned with anything else, then we have already become the losers. Plain and simple as that.

So my brother pointed me towards these few ayahs in Surah Al An'am (the Cattle)

006.033 We know indeed the grief which their words do cause thee: It is not thee they reject: it is the Signs of God, which the wicked contemn.
006.034 Rejected were the Apostles before thee: with patience and constancy they bore their rejection and their wrongs, until Our aid did reach them: there is none that can alter the Words (and Decrees) of God. Already hast thou received some account of those Apostles.
006.035 If their spurning is hard on thy mind, yet if thou wert able to seek a tunnel in the ground or a ladder to the skies and bring them a sign,- (what good?). If it were God's will, He could gather them together unto true guidance: so be not thou amongst those who are swayed by ignorance (and impatience)!

And , of course, a lovely hadith on unity I found.

On the authority of Abu Hurairah(may Allah be pleased with him), who said : the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said :“Do not envy one another; do not inflate prices one to another; do not hate one another; do not turn away from one another; and do not undercut one another, but be you, O servants of Allah, brothers. A muslim is the brother of a muslim: he neither oppresses him nor does he fail him, he neither lies to him nor does he hold him in contempt . Piety is right here-and he pointed to his breast three times. It is evil enough for a man to hold his brother muslim in contempt. The whole of a muslim for another muslim is inviolable: his blood, his property, and his honor.” (Related by Muslim.)

Spread love, brothers and sisters. We are one Ummah, after all.

Salam alaykum

A letter to a friend...

2008-11-03T14:04:00.000-08:00

How do I tell you I have failed in my duties to the Creator. Yes, failed. You don't hear that phrase often from me but now its heartfelt now. I've failed you and more importantly I've failed Allah and the Prophet's (pbuh) message.

It was a simple message, of La illaha ila lah (there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah). A few syllables yet a heavy testament. I didn't pass on the message, the jewel of Al-Islam. All those many years I have known you. The good times , the bad and the downright ugly. Through all the times , you were there, as sturdy as a rock.

I'm sorry for not repaying you in full and even greater than that. How can I claim I love you as a friend if I didnt convey La illaha ila lah to you. I can't. Again, I realise I have failed.

Yesterday was that and tomorrow brings a new day, dear friend. And as I live La illaha ila lah with more vigour, I'm sure I will try harder to convey it to you too.

This is how I feel. I want to be that musk seller the Prophet spoke of. Inshallah, I'll try my best.

Salam

After hardship, comes ease.

2008-11-02T01:36:00.000-07:00

Allah is Most Forgiving, Al Ghafur.
Allah is most Forbearing, Al Azim.

And the ones that bring most comfort to me at this moment in time is Al Wadud and Al Latif, the Loving and The Gentle.

Allah tests those who he loves but Allah is also severe in punishment. So, I try to remember Allah is Oft-Forgiving when I turn to him seeking help, solace and guidance.

And of course, from the kalam of the Noble Quran, one will find all the comfort they are looking for.

Seek help in patience and prayer; and truly it is hard save for the humble-minded. (2:45)

O you who believe! seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely Allah is with the patient. (2:153)

From Surah Al Inshirah

[94:6] Surely, there is ease after hardship.
[94:7] Aye, surely, there is ease after hardship.
[94:8] So when thou art free from thy immediate task, strive hard,
[94:9] And to thy Lord do thou turn with full attention.

I love those verse, everytime I return to them , my heart is enveloped in comfort, again. Put your trust in Allah, and smile. It helps, too.

Salamu alaykum.

Its that old age question.

2008-10-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

I experienced a severe headache today. Biological, it wasn't. In fact, it was an intellectual headache as a result of thinking 'too much'. All that statement will shed light on is the state of my mental faculties lately - void. I haven't thought deeply on anything (bar one thing) for a long time. So when I sat at my lecture about time and space, I was forced to think.

My thoughts ran with me at a rate completely unknown to me. It was from one thread of thought to another. From one subject to another. However, I finally found my focus and asked myself about time. Immediately, my brain flooded with past memories, physical equations and the most prominent memory, the surah on time in the blessed Quran.

Time is a measurable entity. I don't even know if that is scientifically viable. Actually ,it is thinking about it. Now, can you see why I got a headache. Its a complex canvas time is, its flexible and convuluted and allows the timekeeper to manipulate it however it wants to do so. Timekeeper A measures time in a way different to Timekeeper B. Thats the beauty of time, I guess.

Love is meant to make the world go round but why have we missed out time. Its the sole 'entity' (or the measuring of it) that allows us to make sense of what is around us. Its invisible yet evident. Its silent yet speaks volumes of history. It exists but at times, I feel it cannot exist. Is time there or is it a way for man to make sense of the world around him?

"Times have changed", my mum usually says. We speak of good times, like good memories. Time is the greatest of healers and that is sure true. But all the while , I still haven't figured out how time can be touched, is it really here. Its a gift from Allah, an untouchable one and at times, unfathomable. Its the fourth dimension , too, I think. Time is inseperable from space, if one wants to observe this question from a physical perspective.

And it went on and on. And my mind couldn't handle it anymore. Then I smiled and I think my lecturer caught on. He probably wondered what was the matter with me as most of the other students were probably fast asleep. But the inward smile still lingered in till way after the lecture. Why? Its because these sorts of question serve to let people like me undergo mental exercise. Imagine if these big questions didn't exist. Where would we be? Its just another addition to this endless web of knowledge and understanding that allows us human beings ( the creature with intellect is what we are after all) to ponder and reflect.

Yes. Reflection. Thats why these questions exist. So that simple people like me can take the time out to ponder on life.

Finally, a last thing about time, use it well. As I mentioned earlier, the surah that discusses time, revealed to us in the blessed book of Allah, Al-Quran, Surah 103.

By (the Token of) Time (through the ages),

Verily Man is in loss,

Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy.

-translation by Yusuf Ali.

Helping out a friend.

2008-10-27T23:48:00.000-07:00

The greatest gift I can give to a non-Muslim is Islam. But, I'm still working on that. Meanwhile, the greatest gift I can give to a Muslim is also Islam and in this case it really is Islam. For the dear friend grew up without the precious gift so many of us take for granted.

Its so wonderful seeing her face light up with everything new I tell her. I cherish the mosque visits I take her to. We like exchanging books and I can really appreciate how thankful she is. She keeps texting me with questions but I've warned her not to delve into fiqh questions for that area is too precious and precise for me to advice her on. I've directed her to someone much more knowledgable though.

Her steps, at first, were small and full of hesitation. But they eventually gained momentum and conviction. She loves this journey she is on and I love accompanying my friend. After all, I did say this was the greatest gift I could grant and I am more than happy than travelling with my friend at this time of exploration.

She thanks Allah everyday, I can feel it. Who wouldn't, knowing they've been granted Islam again. So many years without it - its like a clear canvas again. And she can paint on it with much more vigour than many Muslims, unfortunately.

Then I should thank Allah for giving me this opportunity and allowing me to help this dear friend. Things really do work out well in the end!

2008-10-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

My faith in Allah sometimes resembles the image above. Not most of the time, no. But when it does , it makes it all the more special and memorable. Now, I'm not one to come to a mathematical conclusion on the graph up above but I pray my faith increases like that although I know it will not do so at a uniform rate.

Salam

The Circle of remembrance

2008-10-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

Circle of remembrances make me happy. I find comfort there. It feels as if I have left the troubles of the outside world, my fears, my worries , my insecurities at the door. I enter the circle and am surrounded by uplifting souls. Souls that make me happy, souls that are searching for Allah's happiness. Souls that make your heart melt as they are soft in speech and sincere in action.
People with sound knowledge to pass on, people with smiles on their faces constantly. People who seem to love Allah and yourself for the sake of Allah.
Real Muslims, who live, breathe and act upon Islam and who wish the same for yourself. Muslims, who at the mention of Muhammad, are filled with due respect and admiration. Muslims, who at the mention of Allah, are filled with due love, fear and hope.

And then I leave the circle of remembrance. I am back to the big, bad world. Back to my problems ,however looking at them from a different perspective every time I leave. The circles give me strength, make me happy, enrich my with knowledge and cleanse my heart.

So, if you have a chance , go visit one. Sit with the worshippers of Allah and remember Allah. Remember, in 13:28 of the Noble Quran,

"Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest!"

Allah works in mysterious ways

2008-10-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

My Lord, yours too, even if you haven’t figured out, sure does work in ways that amaze me. Looking back, I can think of a few times where this has manifested itself greatly. But, the one that comes to mind is the one where Allah (swt) decreed the exact time and place of my first Friday prayer. Allah had decreed me to perform it when I was 18, not before and not after. Allah had also decreed that I perform it with my mother, nothing unusual about that. But , what Allah had also decreed was that I would perform it during the second Friday of Ramadhan in Cairo , Egypt. Allah had planned how I would take steps to the local masjid, each time gaining reward. Allah decreed how I would be surrounded by the worshipping masses , some of whom were shedding tears like nothing I’d seen. Allah decreed I would meet my nephew after prayer and go the nearest market. Overall, Allah decreed that I would experience my first Friday prayer in awe and gratitude of him. He also decreed that I would leave that experience wanting to taste the sweetness of it again and again. That’s why my Lord, Allah, works in mysterious ways - so that, his servants, like me, may learn to appreciate him at times they never thought they would.

Salam

The Criterion (Al Furqan)

2008-10-13T15:40:00.000-07:00

{1}Blessed is He who sent down the criterion to His servant, that it may be an admonition to all creatures

{10}Blessed is He who, if that were His will, could give thee better (things) than those,- Gardens beneath which rivers flow; and He could give thee palaces (secure to dwell in).

{61}Blessed is He Who made constellations in the skies, and placed therein a Lamp and a Moon giving light;

When you do get the chance, take a look outside at a clear night sky and thank Allah you are able to witness such wonder. Surely, Blessed is our Lord. This surah has many ayats of wisdom and inspiration, a few of which I have highighted. It helps that much more if you're listening to a qari who does the job of melting your heart too. And in my case, its Mahir. But, each to their own.

Salam

My favourite Qari - Mahir Al-Muaiqly

2008-10-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

His voice may possibly warm the coldest of hearts. His voice sends chills down my spine and thats coming from someone with a limited knowledge of Arabic.
Take a listen and while you're at it, reflect on the meaning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQbs9E9qKNo

When the anger of Moses was appeased, he took up the tablets: in the writing thereon was guidance and Mercy for such as fear their Lord.

And Moses chose seventy of his people for Our place of meeting: when they were seized with violent quaking, he prayed: "O my Lord! if it had been Thy will Thou couldst have destroyed, long before, both them and me: wouldst Thou destroy us for the deeds of the foolish ones among us? this is no more than Thy trial: by it Thou causest whom Thou wilt to stray, and Thou leadest whom Thou wilt into the right path. Thou art our Protector: so forgive us and give us Thy mercy; for Thou art the best of those who forgive.

Inspirations

2008-10-12T10:08:00.001-07:00

They come and go but when they're here , they seem to last forever. Like now, for instance. My heart is pierced with inspiration and lifted by what it can do for me. I feel light and optimistic. I feel content and tranquil. I feel at peace.

I've made promising to my Lord, yours too. I've thanked him for choosing me to be a Muslim. I shall think him for all that he has granted me and for the great people he has made me meet. Inshallah, I will try my best to remember my Protector, the Loving, the Clement.
Go on, spend a second in remembrance!
Subhanallah - Glory be to Allah
Alhamdullilah - Praise be to Allah
Allahu Akbar - Allah is great

You see , it feels good , doesn't it.

Peace

My favourite Hadith qudsis

2008-10-11T16:42:00.000-07:00

I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.

Pride is my cloak and greatness My robe, and he who competes with Me in respect of either of them I shall cast into Hell-fire.

Hussein

2008-09-15T17:42:00.000-07:00

I sat at the curb of the dusty pavement amongst many others as the call for Maghrib rang the air. As the people scattered in an oddly organised way towards the mosque to pray in congregation, I couldn't help but think that there were certain elements of this society that hadn't changed since I was born here and more strangely, since the times of the pharaohs. Behind me were the alleyways that led to the market place designated to curtains and similar things. There, busy mums and newlyweds went about their way in choosing the perfect pair of curtains for their homes , not aware of the hustle and bustle surrounding them , unlike me. It had probably been just more than a decade since my mum and I walked these streets on a regular basis before I had traveled to England. It was because of this fact, that I had such a great appreciation for this moment.

We were at the mosque of Hussein, the son of the fourth Islamic Caliph, Ali ibn Abu Talib. The mosque stood great with its minarets as a symbol of protection for this building that had stood here for centuries. The surrounding areas were filled with Egyptian nationals and foreigners alike, each with their own agendas. The familiar narrowness of the alleyways had served to be exactly like those of the typical alleyways I would see in the films and magazines depicting Egypt. Shop owners and enthusiastic assistants had demonstrated an array of languages as they tried their utmost to entice the foreigners to their stall. The look of triumph when successful in doing this was worth a thousand words, as if their momentary purpose in life was fulfilled. Their hard work had paid off. The souvenirs were plentiful and colourful from shisha stands, glass pyramids to the piles of papyrus, adorned with paintings of Egyptian pharaohs from long ago.At every turn , a teenage boy would aim at selling you a glass of dodgy looking lemonade that I would have to politely turn down. This, it seemed, did not discourage him ,as I would see him again half an hour later, this time silently giggling to myself at the irony.

The smell of the spices being sold at the markets mixed with the smell of stale smoke assailed my senses at a rate greater than I expected it to, at times causing me to sneeze uncontrollably. Young children ran about , in joyful ignorance of their surroundings. At times, I was so lost in this atmosphere I held so dear and missed greatly that I forgot the multitude of sound surrounding me. It was a strange sight , the great tourist buses alongside the infamous Egyptian cab , both trying to head to their destinations as quickly as possible. The backdrop to this was the mosque and the markets that occupied the other side of the road. As strange as the picture looked , I would not have had it any other way.

The time for prayer had now ended as the imam completed the final section of the prayer. This was signalled in two ways, both as manifest as the other. The first was the fact that I could hear it, as was common in so many Muslim countries. The second was the swarm of worshippers that were now leaving the mosque and returning to their lives, once again, as they did five times a day.

The scene was so spectacularly busy that words would not suffice in narrating what I felt as I sat there. It was as if I was lost in two periods of time, two ages, two segments of my life that I could not succeed in piecing together. The old Cairo was as vivid and present as the new Cairo that was emerging. The Cairo I called home when in my infancy was still lingering and had not made itself difficult to find even amongst this new Cairo that tried its hardest to attract those from beyond its confines. The people were still as warm as they were; regardless of the possessions they called their own. It was this Cairo that had, simultaneously attracted visitors, old and young, familiar and unfamiliar. It was this part of Cairo that had held on to the realities of its past, by being obedient to the act of the call to prayer, never hastening or delaying - carrying out its duties to the worshipping masses. Ultimately, it was a part of Egypt that did what Egypt did best -exist in silent grandeur while it attracted, served and welcomed the company surrounding it.

Ramadan fever in Egypt

2008-09-15T17:41:00.000-07:00

The streets have gone through a noticeable change since I came here two weeks ago. Now, as I look outside the balcony, I see the makeshift soup kitchens ready to serve the fasting masses that cannot afford to do so themselves. I hear the recitation of the noble Quran being played through amplifiers from the insides of mosque to the insides of garages. Recitors of different names all succeed in adding to the distinct atmosphere just before the start of Ramadan here in Egypt.

The television stations are wishing their viewers a blessed month as they attempt to advertise the programmes of the coming month, apparently the best shown throughout the year. The Mufti of the famous Azhar mosque even has airtime signalling the beginning of the month. I ask my sister-in-law is this is a special year or is it always like this. She replies by saying that it is during Ramadan that the spirit of Islam really makes a difference to the lives of many Egyptians. Already a welcoming people, their warmth and kindness is only multiplied during these thirty days. This was confirmed by the abundant soup kitchens now filling the streets.

Lights are assembled in every colour in every street as they flash in the spirit of Ramadan. The famous lanterns I was sent once a year back in London now displayed themselves in all their glory. Some of these were as tall as me, in contrast to those that could fit in my palms. Accompanying these was the famous song 'Ramadan is Coming' that I could remember listening to while I was a child, here in Cairo.

Although Ramadan asks the one fasting to abstain from food and drink during the hours of the day, the spirit of these people are not dampened by any means. Quite the opposite, I have noticed. It seems that the month of fasting serves to strengthen and reinforce what the people here hold dear, especially when it comes to interacting with each other.

Dear Muhammad

2008-09-14T17:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Muhammad, I write this letter with the tools of my age yet the sentiments are as true as the days you lived.

Dear Muhammad, during past centuries you have remained the legend admired by many, the scholar who benefitted the Ummah, the human looked up to by masses and will always remain the man chosen by Allah to convey his message.

Dear Muhammad, you didn't ask to lose your father, mother, grandfather, uncle and wife in a portion of your life yet you remained patient through a trial that would break the strongest of men.

Dear Muhammad, how blessed must the cold walls of Cave Hira feel to have been the place of comfort all those moments as you wept and pondered over the troubles of this life.

Dear Muhammad, you didn't ask to be ridiculed, humiliated and belittled in your attempt to teach those around you of the divine message you had. However, you battled on with inner strength and faith in a way no other being could imagine doing.

Dear Muhammad, no person could have asked that their daughter be the one to remove objects thrown at them by those whose aims were to hurt you, yet you struggled on.

Dear Muhammad , you are one of a few who can claim to have been removed from the place you call home more often than usual.

Dear Muhammad, the battlefield seemed to increase and fortify your trust in Allah as well as inspiring those amongst you, a feat few men can say they have achieved, with sincerity in their hearts.

Dear Muhammad, only a handful of favoured men have a divine message to their names, and only you have had the privilege of carrying the final one.

Dear Muhammad, blessed are you, when Allah had chosen to convey the true message through you although those around you were ever-deviant.

Dear Muhammad, none other than you have the title of the walking Quran.

Dear Muhammad, so blessed and chosen were you that you received a special teacher and Messenger from Allah, in the form of Gabriel.

Dear Muhammad, so happy should our Ummah be to have an intercessor in the form of you, the beloved of Allah.

Dear Muhammad, know that you have a place in the hearts of millions, regardless of the degree of faith we hold.

Dear Muhammad, know that your Ummah wish for our Lord to send you peace and blessings upon you every time your name is mentioned.

Dear Muhammad, know that although our hearts waver at times, their lies great belief in you as the final messenger of Allah.

Dear Muhammad, may Allah forgive us for forgetting the incomprehensible sacrifices you made for us.

Dear Muhammad, may Allah forgive us for adding to or taking away from you Sunnah, an act you warned us against gravely.

Dear Muhammad, if I could have told you those many years ago, I would say thank you for conveying Al- Islam, on behalf of the many Muslims that it has brought a light to.

Will you look at that!

2008-07-30T18:05:00.000-07:00

Let me start this blog by describing the meaning behind my URL.
Clemency generally means practising the action of showing mercy and lessening the punishment that is due. One of my favourite english words. Why, as well as having a beautiful meaning it is also one of the names of God, ar-Ra-uf.

The One who bestows boundless clemency, tenderness and affection.
The One who shows the utmost compassion, pity and tender mercy.
The One whose gentleness, kindness and mercy are beyond understanding.
From the root r-a'-f which has the following classical Arabic connotations:

to be kind, gentle, clement
to be merciful, compassionate
to show pity
to show tenderness

This name is used in the Qur'ân. For example, see 22:65

The term Ra'ûf indicates tender affection and is regarded as the utmost mercy and compassion, the ultimate limit of ar-Rahîm. The meaning is similar to ar-Rahîm, but focuses attention on the utmost tenderness, kindness and affection which accompanies the outpouring of mercy and compassion.

Source